Reflections

Have I seriously not written anything since NOVEMBER??? Man, time flies when you're adopting three kids!!!  So.....we have three kids....they're officially ours and they have our last name and it is absolutely crazy :)  I cannot believe it's all done with! 
Let's see, what's going on at this very moment...well, my oldest son is getting his pajamas on in his room, my younger son is exhausted and having a meltdown in the tub, and my lovely little daughter just came waltzing into my room and climbed into my bed with me holding her birthday balloon she got from grandma.  We're watching Olivia.  On Demand is an amazing thing.  It's Lizzie's (formerly known as 'Princess') birthday today and she is super excited about it.  Not only did she get two toys in her Happy Meal, but she got presents and cake and a bunch of 'happy birthday' phone calls today!  She is one happy chick.  Two weeks ago it was Max's (formerly known as Little) birthday.  He was a super happy kid that day, too.  Chad and I were happy on their birthdays because we got to celebrate as an "official" family.  We celebrated birthdays with them last year, and even had parties with our extended families, but they still weren't "ours" at that point, and so it just wasn't quite the same.  In fact, I've been thinking a lot about what it was like for us a year ago. 
Last year, on Max's birthday, I remember there was all this controversy over when we should get to have our party.  His birthday was on a Monday and so we wanted to have his party on the Saturday before, since Lizzie's birthday was only a couple of weeks later and we'd be having another party.  Well, his birth parents wanted to have their party first, and so they were upset about the arrangement.  They were concerned it was sending the wrong message to him, like that we were better so we got to have the first party.  I understood where they were coming from, but our agency told them we were keeping our party on the Saturday before, and so we did.  We took pictures for them, as they requested, but it was still a "thing" between us.  They got to have Max's party supervised at their apartment, though, and so the kids got to go back to their home for the first time in almost a year.  That was....interesting.  I can't even imagine what it's like inside of a kids' head to go back to your home after you haven't been there for so long and then leave again in a couple of hours and come back to this other home that you've been staying at...all the time knowing that your birth parents keep saying you'll be coming home soon.  Hmm.  That has to be so confusing...and sad.  Well, that was the beginning of the unraveling of Max. 
A couple of weeks later, it was Lizzie's turn for a birthday, but because of some issues with their birth parents, they had to have her party at the agency.  That went pretty well, and things seemed to settle down a little bit. 
And then...it was the now infmaous Mother's Day visit...a.k.a....the last time they saw their birth mom (except for that one time Perry saw her in the parking lot).  That was quite a day. 
Anyway, I got a little nostalgic because as I was saying 'happy birthday' to my daughter today, she looked up at me and smiled and said, 'thanks, mom' and I started to cry like a wuss and had to leave the room.  There is something so nice about the mommy milestone of celebrating my kids' birthdays with them and not having to share them with anyone else.  Don't get me wrong, I think there's a part of me that will always feel a little sad that their birth parents are missing out on all of this, but it is just so nice to have this day all to ourselves.  No one is expecting pictures of the day so that they can see what we did and no one is accusing us of trying to outdo them and no one is trying to tell us when we can have a party or what we can buy them or how we should do things or what the kids can call us or reminding us that we aren't really their parents...that's all over with and today it was just Chad and I and our kids.  Our kids!!!  And that, is a beautiful (and long-awaited) thing :)
Chad and I feel so blessed to have our kids and to be their parents.  The adoption day was such an exciting and wonderful day and we are so thankful for our agency and all the hard work they put into this case.  We are super thankful to all our friends and family for supporting us and praying for us over the past couple of years.  But mostly, we are thankful to God for fulfilling His promise to us that we would get to be parents, and for giving us more than we asked for and for keeping our marriage intact the whole time.  We are loved people :)
More craziness to come...