***The people at the agency said using the kids' ages was too personal so they shall forevermore further be known as Big, Little, and Princess***
HOLY COW!!!!
That's pretty much the only thing one can say after the Christmas that we had. I did the math and the kids had SEVEN present times (eight for Big) and my house is paying for it. I might have to take down the tree already because there is no room in the inn for all the loot! Chad and I literally spent the evening last night looking at storage solutions for the house. Just want you want to do after Christmas....go shopping for more stuff ;)
The kids did GREAT!!! I mean, so great they deserve a medal! I think it helps that I took a little time to seriously pray for sanity and peace before every present encounter. I know how I handle stress and so asking (begging) God for help was probably the smartest thing I did this year because I KNOW I can't handle it all on my own. But they were really good. I was so thankful too that Princess took a lengthy nap at my parents' house on Christmas because she neeeeeeeded it.
Anywho, needless to say, we've been busy people. We went to Chad's grandparents' hosue on Christmas Eve to see them and Chad's dad. Then the kids went to Gempa Marilyn's so she could take them over to another party while Chad and I went to Church. Then we joined everyone at the party. The kids were up so late that we actually had to get them up on Christmas morning at eight...I was dyiiiing!!! Then after that, Aunt Jen came over (ooh, that makes eight/nine present opportunities) and then we made the drive to Grandma and Grandpa W's house. Then yesterday we hit up Gempa Marilyn's for even more festivas. Today, we're lounging around in our pj's while I try to make sense of the house again. So far, my kitchen is functional so I feel pretty good. The living room shall be tamed while they're pretending to take naps in a little bit.
Some highlights of the Holiday:
*Big not wanting to open his Santa gifts so he could see what we'd picked for him. He wasn't disappointed--he got a Leapster and he's been sacked out with it ever since!
*Little wearing his pj's and his new fireman raincoat lying on the floor at my parents' house playing with his Stinky the Trash Truck for hours
*Princess pushing her new doll stroller through my parents' house regardless of how much stuff was in her way with a purse on her arm
*Little pushing the doll stroller, talking on a pretend phone to Aunt Jen (wherever did he learn such a thing?)
*Big getting TICKED at me when I told him to put down the Leapster and use the bathroom
*The sound of Little snoring on the way home
*Princess thoroughly engrossed in her new dollhouse
*Remembering to relax and enjoy the kids
*Getting to make chocolate dipped everything with my mom because the kids were so entertained
*The sound of happy children playing together while I cleaned the kitchen earlier for longer than ten minutes!!!!
It was a great holiday and we had a wonderful time and I'm not going to lie that I'm sooooo happy it's done!!!!
Another thing I'm not going to lie about: I totally lost it on Christmas Eve. Pastor Bob was talking about Christmas meaning more than presents and people needing Jesus and I just totally lost it because it struck me that tomorrow (Christmas), the kids would be waking up in our house and their parents would be waking up in an empty house...no kids...no excitement...no family. And Big's dad would be waking up to a much sadder morning. And there I was, annoyed about all the stuff they'd be getting, and where would I put it, and it was just going to be so terrible, and I just KNEW they'd be throwing tantrums, and oh the stress of it all...and yet, I had their kids for the day. Can you just imagine how sad it would feel to wake up knowing your kids were having one heck of a Christmas at someone ELSE'S house? Or how secretly sad it probably was for Big at least, to know he's not seeing his parents on a day that you typically spend with your family? As a matter of fact, yesterday, Big had a bit of a meltdown because he missed his dad. He hugged me for a loooong time and cried. It just struck me how sad it all was. I know that their parents made certain choices to get themselves into this mess, but it was still so sad to think that they wouldn't even get to hear their kids' voices on Christmas. So, needless to say, anyone who saw me crying at Church on Christmas Eve--this is why.
I forget to step back and look at the big picture a lot. The little picture is all stress and frustration and me, me, ME!!! It's all worry and craziness...but the big picture...it's not about me so much. At least, not directly. It's about them, and the experience they're getting. And the knowledge that they are loved, not just by Chad and I who are the licensed foster parents here, but by everyone--my family, Chad's family, our Church family. People who don't have to love them if they don't want to but do because they just can't help it. They love us so they love them, or it's like I said before: when you look in their eyes, you can't help but love them. When you think of all they've been through, you can't help but care for them. And then I think of how God has orchestrated all of this...how He prepared the way for us to have them in our home. And how He's given us a holiday we shall never forget. And how when I stop and take a step back, I see the actual things I need to be worried about, and not the silly stuff like "where is THIS supposed to go?" (Although, seriously, I have no clue where everything is going to fit!!!)
Well, it's lunchtime for the crazies. They're getting a little ornery which usually means they need to be fed. Then comes one of my favorite parts of the day--NAPTIME!!!!!!!
Monday, December 27, 2010
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas!!!!
I can't believe the kids are actually quiet at eight in the morning! They're usually up at seven regardless of when they went to bed or what day of the week it is. I shall enjoy five minutes of typing.
So, back in October we filled out these little 'wish lists' for the kids for Christmas. The agencies then put the lists on angel trees around town for people to purchase for all the foster kids out there. I went on Thursday to pick up some of the gifts and it freakin' FILLED my minivan!!! It was insane! Naturally, I started crying because I couldn't help but think that this Christmas would be the best one these kids have ever had. And I know Christmas isn't all about gifts and Santa and all that...but when you're a kid who's used to not getting anything new...a mountain of toys is kind of a big deal. It reminded me of when I went out and got the boys new clothes.
When they came to us, they had two laundry bags crammed with clothes. This was amazing! We had a boy back in April for a few nights who was staying with us until he could go to a home with his brother. He didn't have any socks. Or pajamas. And his clothes were stained and worn and didn't match. And it all fit in a small box. It was pretty sad. He had more clothes, but this was all that the agent could grab on the way out the door. We had a baby for a week and half who only had the outfit she was wearing and another sorta outfit in her bag because she was found in a drug raid. So the fact that these boys had so many clothes was astounding. However, upon closer inspection, they weren't in the best condition and it was obvious the socks and underwear were brand new and very recently given to them. Nothing really seemed to fit them properly. So, we got a clothing allowance for them and I went off to the mall and bought whole new wardrobes (ya gotta love The Children's Place! Everything is always on sale AND you get coupons!!!). You should have seen their little faces when I pulled out all their clothes. It was epic!!! I have a feeling that Christmas is going to be like that. Probably a lot crazier because it's toys, and let's face it...toys are waaaay more exciting than clothes....but it's going to be awesome. I mean, I know I'm going to get a monstrous headache and the kids are going to have several meltdowns each and we're going to be crying and exhausted at the end of the day, but somewhere in there will be some awesomeness because this is our first Christmas with kids and awesomeness is just implied.
We've been waiting a long time for this Christmas. Three years ago we were gearing up to call a doctor about why we couldn't get pregnant. Two years ago we were debating to go one more round of IUI even though the previous three hadn't worked. And last year, we almost got to have a child for Christmas but we got him right after instead. (It was still pretty good though :) ) So this year has been a long time coming and I get all super misty when I really think about it. There's just something about watching kids get all excited about the day and seeing their joy when they get something they really love...and I get to be a part of that this year. Another check for the ole Bucket List, if you will ;)
***In the course of this blog, the minions have all gotten up. 5 and 2 have had tantrums, 1 has been a little angel and now they're watching Toy Story 2. Well, the boys are. And they're telling me everything Buzz is up too...as if I can't see and hear it for myself.***
Thanks to anyone who bought a toy for a kid on an angel tree. You're helping to make this Christmas the best one ever for our kids. In a year full of hurts for them (have I mentioned that this is the fourth house they've lived in since May?) it's nice to know that on Saturday they'll get to forget it all...at least for the 4 minutes and 37 seconds it takes for them to tear through all their gifts :)
In many ways though, I think I'll be the happiest one this year. I won't speak for Chad (although I'm pretty positive he feels the same way), but to see God fulfill a promise He made to me with such speed and might, that one day I'd have a family (even if it was just temporary), fills me with such joy and gratefulness that it can't be matched by all the presents in the world. This year, God's given us the gift of a family, and the love of children. To hear them say they love me, or for them to call me mommy, or for them to run up and demand a hug....I can't even express the way it makes me feel. And yet, I know God's not finished blessing us yet. It's downright overwhelming and I'm just so thankful for His love and provision. We are blessed!!!!!
Here's hoping all goes well and we all survive the festivities!
Merry Christmas!!!
So, back in October we filled out these little 'wish lists' for the kids for Christmas. The agencies then put the lists on angel trees around town for people to purchase for all the foster kids out there. I went on Thursday to pick up some of the gifts and it freakin' FILLED my minivan!!! It was insane! Naturally, I started crying because I couldn't help but think that this Christmas would be the best one these kids have ever had. And I know Christmas isn't all about gifts and Santa and all that...but when you're a kid who's used to not getting anything new...a mountain of toys is kind of a big deal. It reminded me of when I went out and got the boys new clothes.
When they came to us, they had two laundry bags crammed with clothes. This was amazing! We had a boy back in April for a few nights who was staying with us until he could go to a home with his brother. He didn't have any socks. Or pajamas. And his clothes were stained and worn and didn't match. And it all fit in a small box. It was pretty sad. He had more clothes, but this was all that the agent could grab on the way out the door. We had a baby for a week and half who only had the outfit she was wearing and another sorta outfit in her bag because she was found in a drug raid. So the fact that these boys had so many clothes was astounding. However, upon closer inspection, they weren't in the best condition and it was obvious the socks and underwear were brand new and very recently given to them. Nothing really seemed to fit them properly. So, we got a clothing allowance for them and I went off to the mall and bought whole new wardrobes (ya gotta love The Children's Place! Everything is always on sale AND you get coupons!!!). You should have seen their little faces when I pulled out all their clothes. It was epic!!! I have a feeling that Christmas is going to be like that. Probably a lot crazier because it's toys, and let's face it...toys are waaaay more exciting than clothes....but it's going to be awesome. I mean, I know I'm going to get a monstrous headache and the kids are going to have several meltdowns each and we're going to be crying and exhausted at the end of the day, but somewhere in there will be some awesomeness because this is our first Christmas with kids and awesomeness is just implied.
We've been waiting a long time for this Christmas. Three years ago we were gearing up to call a doctor about why we couldn't get pregnant. Two years ago we were debating to go one more round of IUI even though the previous three hadn't worked. And last year, we almost got to have a child for Christmas but we got him right after instead. (It was still pretty good though :) ) So this year has been a long time coming and I get all super misty when I really think about it. There's just something about watching kids get all excited about the day and seeing their joy when they get something they really love...and I get to be a part of that this year. Another check for the ole Bucket List, if you will ;)
***In the course of this blog, the minions have all gotten up. 5 and 2 have had tantrums, 1 has been a little angel and now they're watching Toy Story 2. Well, the boys are. And they're telling me everything Buzz is up too...as if I can't see and hear it for myself.***
Thanks to anyone who bought a toy for a kid on an angel tree. You're helping to make this Christmas the best one ever for our kids. In a year full of hurts for them (have I mentioned that this is the fourth house they've lived in since May?) it's nice to know that on Saturday they'll get to forget it all...at least for the 4 minutes and 37 seconds it takes for them to tear through all their gifts :)
In many ways though, I think I'll be the happiest one this year. I won't speak for Chad (although I'm pretty positive he feels the same way), but to see God fulfill a promise He made to me with such speed and might, that one day I'd have a family (even if it was just temporary), fills me with such joy and gratefulness that it can't be matched by all the presents in the world. This year, God's given us the gift of a family, and the love of children. To hear them say they love me, or for them to call me mommy, or for them to run up and demand a hug....I can't even express the way it makes me feel. And yet, I know God's not finished blessing us yet. It's downright overwhelming and I'm just so thankful for His love and provision. We are blessed!!!!!
Here's hoping all goes well and we all survive the festivities!
Merry Christmas!!!
Friday, December 17, 2010
We've got Cabin Fever!!!!
I'm pretty sure we're all a little bonkers after this week. We had a snow day on Monday, which just about killed me. The roads were horrible and we had to take 5 up to St. V's for a visit with his grandma but she wound up not showing because, shockingly enough, the roads were too horrible. And then it's been a crazy week ever since. Chad took a bunch of time off last week and this Monday so it was weird not having him around to help me keep my sanity. On top of it all, the groups I go to two days a week are on a Christmas break so I haven't even had those adventures to look forward to. Add to that a Christmas party, a Holiday concert, a visit with only one parent (the other one was not permitted to visit this week), and freezing cold temperatures that are keeping us indoors, and we're all ready to pop!!! On the upside, I got a really awesome manicure last night with shellac polish and it's not supposed to chip for two weeks. My sister's lasted almost three and she even cooked Thanksgiving dinner with hers. I'm excited :)
2 is currently next to me at the counter singing the Hot Dog song from Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. He's headbanging and I'm mildly concerned he's going to get a concussion. He won't leave my side this morning because he's convinced he needs to eat everything in sight and he thinks the way to achieve that goal is to remain plastered to me. I was mildly concerned he was dehydrating himself this morning because of all the tantrums he was throwing. He's hit that unique phase where everything is horrible. He told me about ten times he didn't want his milk and he wanted to get down and he didn't like it and so I finally said "fine" and threw it in the sink and then he screamed "I want my miiiiiiillllkkkkk!" as if I'd ripped it straight from his shaking, milk-loving hands as he was about to take the first sip of a much desired cup. It was epic.
He's had a bit of a rough couple of days. He was hitting his dad during his vist this week and the hitting rolled over into yesterday. In a two minute period, he hit his sister, the dog, and me. He's not much of a hitter usually, that's more like 5's line of work, but after a visit, he gets so worked up. Especially on a week where he only gets to see one of his parents. It's crazy to think of how much this is affecting him. He's 2 and he's got all this inner turmoil going on.
Ya know, I get a little aggravated sometimes when people only want to adopt babies and only want to adopt from other countries. When Chad and I first found out that we couldn't have kids, I was pretty set on getting a baby. I wanted a child from birth who would know only me as their mom and who I could raise from the beginning so they wouldn't have all these past traumas and hurts. And then we started doing foster care and I realized that no matter what the ages of the kids, I loved them like they were my own. And once you look into the eyes of these kids and see how sad they are....you just can't help but want to help them. I just don't feel right about telling these kids that we would never consider adopting them because they're too old. How selfish is that? And I would never tell these kids that I won't give them a mom and a dad because they live in America and so therefore that's enough....that I'm going to take a kid from another country because that's "better" somehow. A kid in need of a family is a kid in need of a family. Regardless of their country of origin or their age or their race or their needs...all the want and need is a family who loves them. What good is America to a kid of they're deprived of their basic needs? I get feeling like you're obligated to have your own child or even that you deserve to be choosy since you're paying so much...because I felt that way too. But when it got right down to it, more than anything, I wanted to be a mom. And being a mom means not always (seemingly) getting what ya want ;) It may not be conventional, and we may not get to keep every kid that comes through our house, but we get to love on some kids and raise them, and teach them right from wrong. And if God is willing to let us keep some of them forever, then we get to break the cycle of drugs and abuse for them. And that's pretty awesome. That's a gift! I just...I hope people will consider other options. I hope people will really sit down and ask themselves why they "need" a baby and why they "need" to do foreign adoption. Just consider an alternative. It's been magic for us :)
Alright, it's time to find something fun for us to do today. I think loud music is in order to get me going because this coffee sure isn't helping much. And at least if I'm working with my hands today, I can admire my nails on the sly ;)
2 is currently next to me at the counter singing the Hot Dog song from Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. He's headbanging and I'm mildly concerned he's going to get a concussion. He won't leave my side this morning because he's convinced he needs to eat everything in sight and he thinks the way to achieve that goal is to remain plastered to me. I was mildly concerned he was dehydrating himself this morning because of all the tantrums he was throwing. He's hit that unique phase where everything is horrible. He told me about ten times he didn't want his milk and he wanted to get down and he didn't like it and so I finally said "fine" and threw it in the sink and then he screamed "I want my miiiiiiillllkkkkk!" as if I'd ripped it straight from his shaking, milk-loving hands as he was about to take the first sip of a much desired cup. It was epic.
He's had a bit of a rough couple of days. He was hitting his dad during his vist this week and the hitting rolled over into yesterday. In a two minute period, he hit his sister, the dog, and me. He's not much of a hitter usually, that's more like 5's line of work, but after a visit, he gets so worked up. Especially on a week where he only gets to see one of his parents. It's crazy to think of how much this is affecting him. He's 2 and he's got all this inner turmoil going on.
Ya know, I get a little aggravated sometimes when people only want to adopt babies and only want to adopt from other countries. When Chad and I first found out that we couldn't have kids, I was pretty set on getting a baby. I wanted a child from birth who would know only me as their mom and who I could raise from the beginning so they wouldn't have all these past traumas and hurts. And then we started doing foster care and I realized that no matter what the ages of the kids, I loved them like they were my own. And once you look into the eyes of these kids and see how sad they are....you just can't help but want to help them. I just don't feel right about telling these kids that we would never consider adopting them because they're too old. How selfish is that? And I would never tell these kids that I won't give them a mom and a dad because they live in America and so therefore that's enough....that I'm going to take a kid from another country because that's "better" somehow. A kid in need of a family is a kid in need of a family. Regardless of their country of origin or their age or their race or their needs...all the want and need is a family who loves them. What good is America to a kid of they're deprived of their basic needs? I get feeling like you're obligated to have your own child or even that you deserve to be choosy since you're paying so much...because I felt that way too. But when it got right down to it, more than anything, I wanted to be a mom. And being a mom means not always (seemingly) getting what ya want ;) It may not be conventional, and we may not get to keep every kid that comes through our house, but we get to love on some kids and raise them, and teach them right from wrong. And if God is willing to let us keep some of them forever, then we get to break the cycle of drugs and abuse for them. And that's pretty awesome. That's a gift! I just...I hope people will consider other options. I hope people will really sit down and ask themselves why they "need" a baby and why they "need" to do foreign adoption. Just consider an alternative. It's been magic for us :)
Alright, it's time to find something fun for us to do today. I think loud music is in order to get me going because this coffee sure isn't helping much. And at least if I'm working with my hands today, I can admire my nails on the sly ;)
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
This one's for my husband...
Every day when my husband gets home from work, we share about our days. I usually tell him something ridiculous the kiddos have done and at least once a week, my husband tells me I should write a blog about being a foster mom. And I look at him like he's been smoking something potent. I tell him I don't have the time...no one's going to read it...our kids aren't THAT interesting....but I'm giving it a whirl. At least I can document the craziness of our lives to look back on, ya know?
So, here we go. My husband, Chad, and I have three foster kids right now. I'm not technically supposed to share their names and stuff so I'll refer to them by their ages (that won't be annoying at alllll). The oldest is a boy who's 5. Then comes another boy who's 2 1/2 or just 2 for these purposes and the youngest is a girl who's 19 months...or 1. They all have the same mom but 5 has a different dad. 5 is in school all day and I stay home with 2 and 1. Chad and I have been doing foster care for about a year now and we've had nine kids in our home for one reason or another over the last year. We've had these kids for a few months. They are adorable, and they have quite a story too.
Currently, 5 is at school, 2 is under a blanket on the couch with his new Buzz Lightyear stuffed animal tucked in with him and watching Handy Manny, and 1 is playing with her new shape sorter while sporting my fabulous pink necklace. 2 is also petting my hair and telling me he loves me and Buzz. Do you know who else he loves? SANTA!!! We were at the foster agency's Christmas party last night and the S-man was there and 2 was nutso for him. He hugged him every chance he got. And then this morning we were at Discount Tire getting our previously busted tire put back on our van and do you know who walked in? SANTA!!! Did you know Santa drives a red Sebring convertible? (*sigh* I used to have a convetible...I traded it for the minivan.) He came in wearing full attire and 2 screamed "SANTA, I love you" at the top of his lungs and 1 did about 50 up/downs in her stroller seat. It was impressive. Santa was a good sport about it all. He hung with the kiddos and "Merry Christmased" them and reminded them to be good (Thank you, Santa). After he left, 2 told every person who came in that store that Santa had been there and he had a belt and a hat and he loved him and pretty much anything else Santa-related he could think of. What a hoot!
I wouldn't trade them in for anything. I love these kids and I love what they've added to our lives. Believe me, it isn't always easy and it's kinda complicated with all the parents and visits and caseworkers and therapy...but it's so worth it. To see the changes in their behaviors and their ability to attach to people...I get all misty just thinking about it. When we got 1, she rarely ever smiled or made any noises. Now, she's so happy and she cries when we leave her in the nursery at Church. You could barely understand a word 2 said six months ago. Today, a lady at the tire place told me he speaks so well for a kid his age. And 5...well, that would take all day to explain. He's come the furthest. He's just turned into this amazing, loveable, silly boy. It's awesome :)
I think this is about all they're going to let me type for today. 2 is currently requesting I hold Buzz Lightyear while he prances about the living room in his Spidey slippers. Feel free to ask me any questions. I love helping people get infomred on foster care. It's an incredible experience! Hope I made you happy, Chad :)
Bye for now,
Moose
So, here we go. My husband, Chad, and I have three foster kids right now. I'm not technically supposed to share their names and stuff so I'll refer to them by their ages (that won't be annoying at alllll). The oldest is a boy who's 5. Then comes another boy who's 2 1/2 or just 2 for these purposes and the youngest is a girl who's 19 months...or 1. They all have the same mom but 5 has a different dad. 5 is in school all day and I stay home with 2 and 1. Chad and I have been doing foster care for about a year now and we've had nine kids in our home for one reason or another over the last year. We've had these kids for a few months. They are adorable, and they have quite a story too.
Currently, 5 is at school, 2 is under a blanket on the couch with his new Buzz Lightyear stuffed animal tucked in with him and watching Handy Manny, and 1 is playing with her new shape sorter while sporting my fabulous pink necklace. 2 is also petting my hair and telling me he loves me and Buzz. Do you know who else he loves? SANTA!!! We were at the foster agency's Christmas party last night and the S-man was there and 2 was nutso for him. He hugged him every chance he got. And then this morning we were at Discount Tire getting our previously busted tire put back on our van and do you know who walked in? SANTA!!! Did you know Santa drives a red Sebring convertible? (*sigh* I used to have a convetible...I traded it for the minivan.) He came in wearing full attire and 2 screamed "SANTA, I love you" at the top of his lungs and 1 did about 50 up/downs in her stroller seat. It was impressive. Santa was a good sport about it all. He hung with the kiddos and "Merry Christmased" them and reminded them to be good (Thank you, Santa). After he left, 2 told every person who came in that store that Santa had been there and he had a belt and a hat and he loved him and pretty much anything else Santa-related he could think of. What a hoot!
I wouldn't trade them in for anything. I love these kids and I love what they've added to our lives. Believe me, it isn't always easy and it's kinda complicated with all the parents and visits and caseworkers and therapy...but it's so worth it. To see the changes in their behaviors and their ability to attach to people...I get all misty just thinking about it. When we got 1, she rarely ever smiled or made any noises. Now, she's so happy and she cries when we leave her in the nursery at Church. You could barely understand a word 2 said six months ago. Today, a lady at the tire place told me he speaks so well for a kid his age. And 5...well, that would take all day to explain. He's come the furthest. He's just turned into this amazing, loveable, silly boy. It's awesome :)
I think this is about all they're going to let me type for today. 2 is currently requesting I hold Buzz Lightyear while he prances about the living room in his Spidey slippers. Feel free to ask me any questions. I love helping people get infomred on foster care. It's an incredible experience! Hope I made you happy, Chad :)
Bye for now,
Moose
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