Come see me next week!

My husband just asked me if I'd written a new post recently and I told him that's what I'm doing right now and he asked if it was going to be about how awesome he is...and then he flexed his muscles.  Oh boy.  To be honest, he IS pretty awesome...he's currently doing a load of dishes.  I mean, who doesn't love a husband who does that!!!  But, sadly, this is not all about him and his awesomeness.  Maybe some other day, Chad.  
Alright, on to regular stuff.  Next Saturday (February 5) from 1:00-6:00 P.M. I'll be at the STVCC booth at the Lansing Women's Expo converting people into foster parents.  Woot woot!!!  Women aren't even going to know what hit them.  So if you want to come see what foster care/adoption is all about....I would love to show you :)  Don't worry, I won't make you leave with a kid or anything...I promise ;) 
When they asked me to help work the booth, I instantly thought of two things:
1. What am I going to wear?
2. What am I going to say to people?

Well, the clothing situation worked itself out.  But the speaking part...I mean...I pretty much always start crying when I tell people about the kids these days.  Motherhood has turned me into a bit of a blubbering pansy.  And I'm pretty sure that the people at St. V's aren't asking me to come and cry at their table for five hours, so I started thinking of some of the funny things that the kids have done.  And then I landed on the best and probably most inappropriate story that ever happened to us and that I will most likely not be sharing next weekend because it's a little personal but I, for some reason, feel TOTALLY comfortable sharing on here.  Are ya ready?  Some of you already know this one...
Okay, so originally when we got the kids, we just got Big and Little first because we had another boy who was going home soon and we didn't have room for Princess.  The boys came with just a couple of laundry bags full of clothes and a couple of stuffed animals...no toys or anything and the other kid we had was not always very good about sharing so Big was kinda upset a lot at first that he didn't really have any toys (that he wanted).  One of the very first nights we had them, we were tucking the boys in and when Chad and I came in the room, Big shoved his hands under the blankets real quick.  You know, like how kids do it when they're trying to secretly play with something they're not supposed to have.  I asked him what he had and he kept telling me 'nothing' but I knew better so I pulled back the blanket and guess what I found?  Well, let's just say it was "that time of the month" for me and let's just say I apparently had not done a good enough job of wrapping something up and let's just say that Big had, indeed, found an applicator in the garbage and was playing with it in his bed, because, ya know, it's kinda like a rocket thing!!!!  OH. MY. LAND.  I don't think I've ever been at such a loss for words!!!  I was DYing!!!  Chad pretty much left the room at that point.  I grabbed the "toy" away from Big and told him "Do you know what this is?  It's not a toy!  It's been in my (and here I paused for half a second and caught myself from saying the v-word to a little kid but not long enough to catch myself from saying...)butt!  (then I caught myself again) TOUCHED my butt!  It's TOUCHED my butt!"  I've never seen anyone's eyes get as big as Big's did and, after he washed his hands, he stopped playing in our garbage and I started super reinforcing my garbage once a month so we'd never have to repeat that again. 
It's quite possibly my most hilarious anecdote about anything and for sure my most hilarious about foster care, but again, I'm not quite sure it's entirely appropriate for strangers.  It does show though, that kids who don't have much are desparate for something to play with and will, indeed, play with just about anything.  And it shows that kids who are neglected are not above digging in the garbage for entertainment.  So I'm still searching for what to say to people next week but I'm thinking that it'll just come to me.  Hopefully it won't be anything too embarrassing or that makes me cry.  Something between the range of tears and tampons...that shouldn't be too hard to come up with, right?